


Merry Christmas,Yuuri

by BishoujoMichiko



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Heartbreak, I'm so sorry Viktor pls forgive me, M/M, Unrequited Love, VictUuri, but your tears are beautiful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-07
Updated: 2017-01-07
Packaged: 2018-09-15 12:19:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9234713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BishoujoMichiko/pseuds/BishoujoMichiko
Summary: I wrote this on Christmas (12/25/16), but created my ao3 account after. So since today (1/7/17) is Christmas in Russia-I thought I'd post it.I haven't seen many heartbreak-y Victuuri fanfics...and I'm in love w/ Viktor's tears...so I'm sorry!!!Happy belated, Viktor!





	

Viktor was in a field of wildflowers, the brightly colored petals, blinding. Yuuri was calling his name as he ran away from him, smiling and beckoning. Viktor ran to catch up, but his legs felt like lead. He dragged himself through the field, Yuuri running farther and farther away. He didn’t know why he was panicking, but his chest pulled tight. He wanted to run with Yuuri, he wanted to go wherever he was going. Why wouldn’t his legs move? 

“Yuuri, wait! I can’t-” Viktor strained to move forward, but now his legs wouldn’t move at all. He pulled, but they would not budge. Yuuri was so far away he had become a shadow; but Viktor could hear him laughing like he was right beside him. 

_“Viktor, come on! Hurry up! I’m gonna leave you!”_

  
There was no way he could get to Yuuri now. The field of flowers had now become like quicksand, and it began to slowly swallow him. Viktor was crying, calling for Yuuri, pleading with him. He didn’t want Yuuri to save him, he just wanted him to wait…not to leave him alone. There was a blue butterfly that danced before Viktor’s eyes, it was the last thing he saw before the ground pulled him under.

Viktor snapped awake, completely drenched in sweat. It took him a few minutes to catch his breath. He had lost count the number of times he had this nightmare. It was always the same.  
The field. The butterfly. The quicksand.  
And Yuuri running off, leaving him behind.  
He sighed, and ran his fingers through his damp hair. He reached for his phone on the night stand and laid back down. He thought of texting Yuuri, it was three in the morning in Russia, which meant it was around nine am in Japan. Yuuri would more than likely still be sleeping.  
  
Viktor scrolled through Yuuri’s Instagram. His hair had grown out, and it looked amazing on him. Viktor wondered what it would feel like to play with it, feel the softness of the strands. What it would feel like to brush it for him in the morning, or before bed. He imagined how it would tickle his nose if he were to bury his face in it, and how the smell of Yuuri’s shampoo would soothe him. He probably used different products now, and Viktor wondered what those smelled like.  
There was a picture of Yuuri and his entire family in front of their Onsen, all of them smiling. Viktor knew he shouldn’t be doing this, he had finally managed to stop looking at Yuuri’s social media for awhile. But every so often he couldn’t help himself. He wanted to see Yuuri so badly, and the Internet was now their only connection.  
  
When Yuuri decided to retire, Viktor had thought he would eventually change his mind. He thought Yuuri would decide to compete atleast for another year. Didn’t he promise Viktor he would win gold? But the silver medal had satisfied him, and so he quit. But he didn’t just leave ice skating, which is what really surprised Viktor.  
Yuuri left him as well.  
Viktor had always made assumptions, turning his desires into what should actually occur, what should be reality. So when the Grand Prix ended, and Yuuri said everything was over , he was so confused.  
In his head, he had seen Yuuri moving with him to Russia, or even better, Viktor moving to Japan. Or maybe they would run away to Barcelona and spend their days in the sun in Spain. Whatever scenario Viktor had in his mind, it was always the same.  
No matter what, Yuuri was in it.  
They were together. He just couldn’t understand why it happened this way. Yuuri didn’t even give them any time for a proper goodbye; he left for Japan right after the final, he didn’t even come to the banquet.  
  
Yuuri was cruel, he was so _cruel_.  
Had Yuuri always been like this? Viktor had never noticed anything about Yuuri that could have prefaced this happening. Viktor knew Yuuri wanted him to stay until his retirement, but Viktor had become too attached. He wanted to stay with Yuuri _forever_ , he didn’t care that Yuuri would leave the ice. He didn’t care about that. He just wanted them to always stay together.  
The tears streamed out, and Viktor laughed. To think that he could be so heartbroken, no, just broken.  
He completely shut off his cell phone, and lay in darkness.  
It had been nearly a year since he last saw Yuuri. Occasionally Yuuri would text him, it was always the same:  
“Hey, Viktor! Hope everything is well, miss you!”  
But that was a lie, _he knew it was_. Yuuri didn’t miss him, not the way he wanted him to. If Yuuri were to say he should visit, Viktor would be on the next flight out to Japan. He probably wouldn’t even pack a bag. If he had that chance, Viktor would never leave Yuuri. He wouldn’t care what Yuuri said, Viktor would follow him. He would chain them to each other if he had to. This time, he would make sure Yuuri would never let go of his hand. He would confess his love, he would get down on his knees and beg Yuuri to stay by his side. He didn’t even have to love him back, Viktor didn’t care if Yuuri even secretly despised him. All he wanted was to be in his presence. To see the way Yuuri’s eyes sparkled when he was trying to find an answer to something. To be there for him whenever he got nervous, to be able to hold him tightly whenever he was sad. To wipe away his tears when he cried.  
But all of that was pointless. Merely thoughts within a dream. Viktor didn’t even know if he’d ever see Yuuri again, and that destroyed him.  
He wondered if Yuuri knew what he was doing to him, if he knew he was giving Viktor this kind of a slow, painful death. Maybe he did, and didn’t care. 

  
Viktor turned back on his phone, he looked at the calendar and it completely slipped his mind that it was December 25th. Time had gotten away from him, the days and nights blended together in a mixture of indifference and hollowness.  
Viktor, against his better judgement, found himself typing “Merry Christmas, Yuuri. I really miss you.” He backspaced until only ‘Merry Christmas’ was left.  
Surprisingly within only a few minutes, he got a reply. His heart beat uncontrollably, and he cursed it for that.  
“Merry Christmas, and Happy birthday! I miss you!”  
That’s right, it was his birthday wasn’t it? It was his twenty-eighth birthday, and he really didn’t know if he’d make it to twenty-nine. The life he’d been living with Yuuri had brought him such happiness, it filled him with feelings he had never felt before.  
_And then it all was torn from him._  
Everything was ripped away.  
Yuuri had stripped him and left him bare, and now he had nothing but despair.  
Viktor typed ‘I miss you, too.’  
And this time he sent it. 

  
As he expected, there was not another reply.


End file.
